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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27407365">Infinity Crack</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anafandom/pseuds/Ana'>Ana (Anafandom)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>5 + 1 Series [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>5+1 Things, Civil War Team Iron Man, Crack, Gen, Sentient Infinity Stones (Marvel)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 21:54:19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,421</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27407365</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anafandom/pseuds/Ana</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>5 Times the Infinity Stones helped Tony and one time they didn’t need to.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>5 + 1 Series [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2172006</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>94</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>829</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>I Needed a Laugh Today</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Infinity Crack</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">


        <li>
            Inspired by

            <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26718337">To Rise Again</a> by <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anafandom/pseuds/Ana">Ana (Anafandom)</a>.
        </li>

    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>For Catflower_Queen, who made a comment on chapter 12 of "To Rise Again" that I just couldn’t resist. Takes place after that fic – and veers into crack territory.</p><p>If you haven’t read the Second Chances Series, all you need to know is that Howard and Maria were resurrected, Jarvis is back, Loki became an Avenger, Thanos was defeated by Tony using the Infinity Stones and Nebula stayed on Earth after the battle. </p><p>The Stones then left Earth – or did they? ;)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>1.</p><p>After saying goodbye to everyone, Tony went over to his parents’ apartment to spend some time with them, since they had been unable to attend the celebration. They chatted for about two hours, relaxing now that everything was finally over, before he decided to call it a night.</p><p>He got a kiss goodbye from his mother, a hug from his dad (and those things still brought a smile to his face), then returned to the penthouse for some much needed rest.</p><p>And promptly stopped short at the entrance to his bedroom.</p><p>Lying there on the bed – in this freaking pillow, no less – were four of the six Infinity Stones: Space, Soul, Reality and Power.</p><p>Tony blinked. And blinked again. And tried to make sense of it.</p><p>The Stones had left, hadn’t they? They’d scattered themselves across the universe to prevent being misused again, hadn’t they?</p><p>Well, apparently not.</p><p>Feeling a bit foolish, Tony approached. “Hmm… Guys? What are you doing here? I thought you were… you know, out there.” He made a gesture meant to encompass the whole universe, then frowned to himself. Could the Stones even <em>see</em>? Oh, well, he was talking to them. What difference did that make? He’d kinda had been forced to accept the insanity of the universe at this point.</p><p>There was no answer, yet Tony could feel a certain… sheepishness… coming from the Stones.</p><p>Tony thought about it for a moment, then decided to deal with it tomorrow. It had been a long day, and he really just wanted to get some sleep.</p><p>“Whatever,” he told the Stones. “We can talk about it later.” Without waiting for a response – because there wouldn’t be one – he went into the bathroom, brushed his teeth and changed into his pajamas. By the time he got back to the bedroom, the Stones had relocated to the nightstand, four gleaming spots of color in the otherwise dark room.</p><p>Except Tony hadn’t turned off the lights, had he? Oh, well… Whatever.</p><p>In the morning, the Stones were still there – and Tony could have sworn they looked… eager.</p><p>“What am I going to do with you?” he said, shaking his head at the absurdity that was his life now.</p><p>Soul pulsed with color and Space seemed to vibrate where it was. They reminded Tony of a couple of puppies begging for attention, and he had to laugh to himself. “J? Fri? You guys getting this?”</p><p>“I’m not sure what to make of it, Sir,” was Jarvis’ cautious reply.</p><p>“Me either, dad. Should we alert the Panel?”</p><p>Tony looked back at the Stones, and now they seemed… contrite.</p><p><em>Maybe they’re just lonely</em>, he thought, and felt… something. An agreement. Oh, well…</p><p>“Just… don’t do anything… hmm… weird, okay?”</p><p>There was another answering murmur, and Tony mentally threw his arms up. It wasn’t like he could make the Stones do anything anyway. As long as they didn’t cause trouble, he figured it would be okay.</p><p>In the kitchen, he made himself some coffee and contemplated his tasks for the day as he waited for it to brew. He went to get some leftover pastries from last night’s party and found there were no more of the little cheese rolls he’d wanted. Well, that was too bad. Those had been really good.</p><p>Of course, as soon as he’d thought it, there was a shimmer of red/blue light and four little cheese rolls materialized on the counter. Tony stared at them for a moment, then at the Stones who had decided to join him in the kitchen.</p><p>“Did you just make those out of nothing, or did you summon them from somewhere?” he asked, deciding to just roll with it – hah – because… well, what else could he do, really?</p><p>Space lit up a little brighter, and Tony took it to mean the latter. “Well, I hoped you paid for those, because otherwise that’s stealing. And that’s not really okay.” Did the Infinity Stones have any notion of money, he wondered? Or stealing, for that matter?</p><p>Reality pulsed once, somewhat indignant.</p><p>Yes, okay, they did, apparently.</p><p>“Well, thanks, then,” Tony said, biting into the roll. Oh, that was delicious. “Just… don’t go overboard, okay? I don’t need reality bending to my every thought.” That could be… very bad. Tony might be a genius, but he had some pretty weird ideas sometimes. Also, he did <em>not</em> want that kind of power.</p><p>The Stones were quiet for the rest of the day, and, as far as Tony could tell, remained at the penthouse while Tony went to the lab to work. Stuff for SI had piled up while he’d been focused on Earth’s defense (and, of course, his trip to space), so there was a lot of paperwork to go through and a few projects he still needed to complete.</p><p>When he went to bed, the Stones were back on his nightstand, looking perfectly innocent.</p><p>“Good night,” Tony told them, to which they responded with a slight glow.</p><p>His life could not possibly get any weirder.</p><p> </p><p>2.</p><p>Tony entered the room and nodded to Happy, who was leaning against the wall near the door, a scowl on his face.</p><p>“So, what’s going on?” Tony asked, looking from his friend to the man sitting sullenly at the table. Of course, Tony was well aware of what was going on, but sometimes it was better to pretend ignorance. People tended to underestimate him – to their detriment.</p><p>“Mr Stark, this is all a big misunderstanding,” the man said, straightening up with a pleading expression.</p><p>“And you are…?” Tony asked, taking a seat in front of the man.</p><p>“My name is Louis Jordan, from Accounting. I’ve been transferred from the Chicago office.”</p><p>“Hmm,” Tony said, and picked up the Starkpad on the table as if checking the information.</p><p>Jarvis had alerted Happy – who had then alerted Tony – that they might have a breach of security in the Tower. While there was indeed a Louis Jordan who worked in the Accounting office in Chicago, and he had indeed recently been transferred to New York, Jarvis seemed to think there was something fishy going on. The picture in the file seemed to match, that was true, and a call to Jordan’s supervisor had confirmed that the man was due to arrive today. Still, Tony trusted Jarvis. If he thought there was a problem, they would investigate.</p><p>He asked a few routine questions, comparing it with the information Jarvis had compiled on Jordan. Everything appeared to be in order, even the man’s fingerprints, yet Tony’s instincts agreed with Jarvis that something wasn’t right here. He just couldn’t figure out what it was. He didn’t exactly have any grounds to request a DNA test – which might not even help. If this was a new hire, he might have thought the man was a spy. However, Jordan had been with the company for 13 years, and he had always been a model employee. It was a puzzle.</p><p>“Why am I here? What have I done wrong? I don’t understand what’s happening, Mr Stark,” Jordan said at last.</p><p>What could Tony tell him, really? He was about to let the guy go when something caught his eye. On the floor near his left foot was the Soul Stone. Tony blinked at it, confused. The Stone glowed, its brown becoming more intense, and Jordan let out a strangled cry, clutching at his head.</p><p>“Hey, what are you doing?” Tony asked the Stone.</p><p>Happy had rushed over to Jordan, and was coaxing him into taking some deep breaths while remaining alert for any tricks.</p><p>The Soul Stone glowed once more, then disappeared.</p><p>“Jordan? Are you all right?” Tony inquired once the man seemed to have put himself together.</p><p>“I… What? Mr Stark? What…?” He looked around the room as if he had no idea where he was or how he’d gotten there. “What’s going on?”</p><p>Tony frowned. He was starting to get a bad feeling from all this. “What’s the last thing you remember?”</p><p>“I was… home.” The man blinked a bit, shaking his head and muttering under his breath.</p><p>“Jarvis, would you ask Strange to come by when he has a moment? I think this might need his expertise.” Then he turned to a still very confused Jordan. “Come on, Mr Jordan. Let’s get you seen to.”</p><p>After some tests, it became clear that someone had indeed messed with poor Jordan’s mind. Jarvis and Strange were put in charge of the investigation, assisting the Chicago PD.</p><p>“So, thanks for that, Souly,” Tony told the Soul Stone, who seemed to preen at his words once he was back at the penthouse. “Well done. I’m sure Mr Jordan is very grateful to have his mind back firmly under his own control. And I’m glad whatever scheme the perpetrators had going on has failed. Cheers!” He raised a glass in the Stone’s direction. The others immediately showed up, glowing faintly as if they wanted some attention too. “So you guys really are staying around?”</p><p>There was a lot of whispering in his mind, which Tony eventually parsed out meant an emphatic ‘yes’.</p><p>Oh, well. “Welcome to Earth, I guess.”</p><p> </p><p>3.</p><p>The meeting had just ended when Tony got the call. The factory in Detroit was experiencing some difficulties, and were worried about an overload to the Arc Reaction. Tony activated the suit (it really was very handy to have it with him all the time now, thanks to the nano tech he’d invented – no more being caught unawares, yay) and flew over as fast as he could, getting Jarvis to update him as the techs and scientists there tried to figure out what had gone wrong and how to fix it.</p><p>“It seems to be a deliberate sabotage, Sir,” Jarvis told him. “However, I cannot find any clues as to who might be responsible at this point.”</p><p>“Hammer? He’s still got it out for me. Hasn’t he been released from prison?”</p><p>“Mr Hammer has indeed been paroled as of last week. I will trace his movements to see if I can find anything suspicious.”</p><p>By the time he landed, the facility had already been evacuated of everyone but the people working on the problem.</p><p>“Mr Stark,” Carla Fox, the lead scientist, said, rushing over to meet him. “We’ve been trying to shut  the Reactor down for nearly an hour, but it’s not responding to any of our commands. I have no idea what’s happening.” She looked worried, though her demeanor remained professional. “Someone has to have tampered with our systems.”</p><p>Tony nodded and pulled up a screen where he could see for himself what was going on. Within a few moments, he had identified the virus messing with the Reactor’s controls. It was far too good to have been written by Hammer himself, though of course he could have hired someone more qualified to do it for him. Still, whoever was responsible was not the priority right now; stopping the Reactor from exploding was.</p><p>Normally, there were multiple failsafes to prevent something like that, but none of them were responding as intended. Shit.</p><p>“Alert the authorities to clear the area around the factory. I don’t want anyone getting hurt if we can’t stop the overload,” he told Fox. “And get everyone who is still here to leave as well.”</p><p>“What about you, Mr Stark?”</p><p>“I’ve got the suit. I can leave in a hurry if I have to.”</p><p>She nodded and hurried out, shouting at the few workers in the area as she went.</p><p>“All right, Jarvis. Let’s see what we can do here.”</p><p>He typed furiously, attempting to regain control of the system. It was a clever program, though, and changed itself to counter Tony’s action. Or rather, <em>someone</em> was still connected to the system, responding in real time.</p><p>“Jarvis, see if you can find out who’s doing this.”</p><p>“Give me five minutes,” the AI replied.</p><p>By the time the five minutes were up, Jarvis did indeed have a location, and the police was dispatched to deal with the criminal. Unfortunately, that did not really help them much. An explosion was beginning to seem more and more inevitable.</p><p>“I believe it’s time for you to go, Sir.”</p><p>Tony nodded, fists clenched at his side. Someone was going to pay for this.</p><p>He took a few steps backward, then frowned. The energy output display, which had been flashing red a second ago, went back to yellow, then green.</p><p>“What the hell…?”</p><p>With a bright purple pulse, the Power Stone materialized in front of Tony. If Tony didn’t know better, he would have said that the Stone was grinning. Oh, who was he kidding? It was definitely grinning.</p><p>“Okay, I’m impressed,” Tony said. “Thanks.”</p><p>The Stone shimmered as if taking a bow.</p><p>With the explosion no longer eminent, it was much easier to restore the system. Jarvis let him know that the hacker had been apprehended and was on his way to a police station to answer questions.</p><p>“Okay, J. I think we’re all set here. Tell everyone the crisis is over and everyone can go back to work – and their lives.”</p><p>The Stone was still waiting patiently, jumping up into the gauntlet when Tony activated the suit with an impression of satisfaction.</p><p>“All right, Vi. Let’s go. Our work here is done.”</p><p>The Stone seemed to snuggle happily into its little groove in the gauntlet.</p><p>It was kinda cute, Tony thought.</p><p> </p><p>4.</p><p>It had been a long time since Tony had heard about SHIELD. Honestly, he’d thought they had just… ceased to be. Sadly, that was clearly not the case.</p><p>He found himself being ‘escorted’ by two men whose demeanor screamed SHIELD after leaving a café in Malibu near SI Headquarters. The annual meeting with the R&amp;D department had been pretty good, and he’d been in high spirits.</p><p>Until, of course, those two idiots showed up. Though they didn’t threaten him exactly – they weren’t quite dumb enough for that – they were… insistent… that he should accompany them. Tony could have just told them where to shove it and walked away, but he was curious about what they wanted, so he decided to play along for now. Jarvis was tracking him, and would alert the authorities the moment something happened. Plus, Tony had the nano suit. Still, it might be interesting to give them some rope with which to hang themselves.</p><p>Unsurprisingly, after a five minute drive to an abandoned warehouse – how cliché could you get? – he got face to face with none other than former director Nick Fury.</p><p>“Well, look what the cat dragged in,” Tony drawled, eying Fury as if he was a disgusting bug under his shoe. “And here I thought you were sensible enough to have disappeared while you still had the chance.” He cocked his head to the side. “I think you’re wanted for questioning by several agencies, you know.”</p><p>“Cut the crap, Stark.” Fury said. “I’m here to negotiate.”</p><p>Tony laughed. “Negotiate? Oh, that’s rich. What do you think I – or anyone else, for that matter – would want to negotiate with you?”</p><p>“I still have relevant information.”</p><p>“And if you have it, it will take me half a day to get it, if I feel so inclined.” Tony shook his head. “Go back to whatever hole you crawled out of, Fury. I’m done with you.” This wasn’t going to be much fun after all, so Tony just turned to walk away. He’d let someone else take care of the issue if it was deemed necessary.</p><p>He heard the unmistakable sound of a gun being drawn and stopped. Really? That was how Fury wanted to play this?</p><p>Before he could turn around, though, he heard another familiar sound – that of a body hitting the ground.</p><p>Next to the two fallen SHIELD goons were the four Infinity Stones, shining brightly – and a bit smugly, if Stones could be said to be smug (these definitely could).</p><p>Fury was being held suspended in midair, encased in red mist, cursing up a storm.</p><p>Soul pulsed several times as if in query, and Tony shook his head. “Nope, no de-souling him. That is not allowed,” he said, trying really hard to keep a straight face. The Stone pouted, but subsided. Then he turned to Reality. “All right, Red, put him down. I think he’s learned his lesson.”</p><p>With a final surge of power to bounce Fury in place a little, the Stone stopped… whatever it was doing… and Fury dropped gracelessly to the floor in a tangle of limbs.</p><p>“What the hell…” the man spurted, looking wide-eyed at the Stones.</p><p>Power gave a short burst of… well, power… and Fury scrambled backwards. The Stones disappeared from near the unconscious men only to reappear at Fury’s feet, making the man shriek like a child. Tony had to admit it was kind of funny. Okay, it was <em>very</em> funny.</p><p>“Now, you or anyone else from SHIELD come near me ever again, you’ll regret it,” he told the spy. The Stones glowed again, as if to let the man know they were watching, and then it was Fury’s turn to vanish. Space shimmered like a dog wagging its tail.</p><p>“Good Stones,” Tony said, because… well, why not? “I hope you sent him somewhere unpleasant. But not deadly. Let’s refrain from killing people unless they really <em>really</em> deserve it, all right?”</p><p>The Stones glowed happily and were gone.</p><p>Right, then. Time to go home.</p><p> </p><p>5.</p><p>For a while, everything was calm. The Avengers had nothing to do aside from public appearances to make people happy. It seemed like all the super villains had decided to either take a break from their evil deeds or retire altogether – and Tony was perfectly happy with that. He got to spend even more time with his friends and family.</p><p>Of course, the peace couldn’t last forever.</p><p>It was shattered one bright Sunday afternoon – and what was it with villains not respecting the weekends? Couldn’t they attack on a Wednesday or something? So inconsiderate – by a clearly crazy dude in a cheap knock off of a suit, complete with a ridiculous green cape and hoodie. Honestly, it was a fashion disaster.</p><p>The man showed in Central Park and proceeded to wreak havoc on the trees (an ecological crime in addition to the crime against fashion) and scare the shit out of people. Also, he referred to himself in the third person, which was usually an indication of severe mental problems. Heaven save him from the criminally insane, Tony thought.</p><p>Tony and Loki were the only one hanging around at the Compound shooting the breeze – everyone else had lives and were out living them – so they were the first ones to respond (Tony gave Loki a ride, which Loki actually enjoyed. He said it was much nicer than being carted around by Thor).</p><p>“Doom is here!” The guy said, gesturing widely while weird sparks flew everywhere. Oh, yeah, he could do magic, apparently. How cute.</p><p>“Look, buddy,” Tony said as he and Loki touched down, putting the faceplate up. “Can we cut this short? I have plans for dinner.”</p><p>“Iron Man is no match for Doom and his army,” the pompous ass replied. Tony shared a look with Loki. Yep, the guy kinda sounded like Thor at his most arrogant.</p><p>“What army?” Loki asked. Because, yeah, there was just the one nutter.</p><p>Unfortunately, that soon changed. About two dozen more cheap suits – with capes, for god’s sake – showed up out of nowhere and surrounded Tony and Loki.</p><p>“Oh, please,” Loki snorted, as unimpressed as Tony. Thanos had an army. This guy had a few drones. Really, they didn’t make super villains like they used to. This was going to be a piece of cake.</p><p>At least, that was what he thought – right until the freaking things started raining down some really heavy artillery <em>and</em> magic.</p><p><em>Goddammit</em>.</p><p>For a moment, Tony and Loki scrambled to shield themselves and the few passerbys that insisted on <em>not</em> running away like sensible people. New Yorkers really were beginning to get a little <em>too</em> blasé about villain attacks if they didn’t even bother to run anymore.</p><p>Doom crackled loudly like the lunatic he was, only to suddenly find himself in nothing but pink underwear with little hearts on it. The drones turned into colorful bubbles and confetti in the blink of an eye.</p><p>Tony sighed and watched as the Reality Stone pulsed with red power near Doom. By now, Tony could read them pretty well, and the smugness from the Stone was unmistakable. And the glee.</p><p>Space and Soul materialized themselves on Tony’s left gauntlet, faintly purring like a couple of cats twining around his leg.</p><p>“Yeah, okay,” Tony said, and retreated the right gauntlet to pat the Stones in the other hand. He was past the point of feeling weird about it.</p><p>Loki looked from Doom, covering himself as best as he could, to him and the Stones, and raised an eyebrow in query.</p><p>Tony could only shrug. “They got bored out there.”</p><p>Doom decided that would be a good time to make a break for it and ran. Tony didn’t bother to chase him, idly wondering if the pink underwear had been some kind of gag gift. It had to be, right? No one in their right mind would purposefully buy that.</p><p>“Aren’t we going to get him?” Loki asked, taking Tony out of his musings.</p><p>“What? Oh, yeah. Tess? Do you mind?”</p><p>In a shimmer of blue, Doom was immediately right next to them. His mouth opened and closed comically. Tony would have laughed, but it felt a bit disrespectful considering the extensive scarring on the poor bastard.</p><p>“You’re under arrest,” Tony told him, and handcuffs conveniently appeared in his hand. Reality jumped into his glove near its brethren with a flourish.</p><p><em>Show off</em>, Tony thought fondly. He got the impression of a smile in answer.</p><p>Doom stayed still, the fight having clearly gone out of him, cringing slightly. Tony felt a bit sorry for him.</p><p>“Red, could you give the poor guy some clothes?” Tony asked. Reality seemed to sigh, but complied, making jeans and a t-shirt appear on Doom. The man gave a grateful smile and straightened a bit from his previously hunched posture. “Off we go, then.”</p><p>The police was waiting at the entrance of the Park to take custody of Doom.</p><p>“This is going to be an interesting report to write,” Loki said.</p><p>“Yep,” Tony agreed.</p><p>The Stones were still in his glove, radiating contentment.</p><p> </p><p>+1.</p><p>The Avengers gathered together in the conference room, watching the images from the satellite, a foreboding sense of déjà vu in the air.</p><p>The ship had been detected a few hours ago. It was a big one, about the size of the Black Order’s ship. Nebula had recognized it as belonging to the Burzzth, a mercenary race, which had made everyone worried.</p><p>“Man, you’d think after Thanos and his army got their asses kicked, the rest of the universe would have learned to leave Earth alone,” Rhodey commented, his posture tense.</p><p>At the moment they could do nothing but wait, since the ship was not yet in range of communications.</p><p>Tony wasn’t too worried, really. If these guys turned out to be hostile, he was sure they could handle it. Also, they had some pretty powerful (and shiny) allies on their side.</p><p>Still, it wouldn’t do to be overly confident – and Tony didn’t want to have to rely on the Stones for everything. They seemed content to help him now, but they could decide to go back out there at any moment.</p><p>As it was, everyone was mobilized and ready to act as soon as they got more information about their visitors. At last, Jarvis announced that he was hailing the ship and that they had a visual.</p><p>“We are the Burzzth,” the being Tony assumed to be the Captain said. The Burzzth were vaguely humanoid, with big bug-like antennae sprouting out of their heads and thick lizard-looking skin.</p><p>“What is your purpose here?” Tony asked.</p><p>The captain sneered. Or maybe it was a smile. It was hard to tell with those weird facial features. “You primitive people have resources we want. Give them to us and you will not be harmed. Resist, and you will feel our wrath.”</p><p>Tony couldn’t help rolling his eyes. Why were all bad guys so cliché? “No can do, Buzzy. Piss off or <em>you</em> will feel <em>our</em> wrath.”</p><p>For a moment, the… creature… said nothing, looking surprised. Perhaps he (was it male? Tony thought so, but what did he know, really? ah, whatever) wasn’t used to being defied. “You… what?”</p><p>Not the sharpest tool in the shed, Tony thought. “I said no. Go away.” He made a shooing motion, just in case the universal translator was faulty.</p><p>There was a muttering amongst the aliens, then the captain turned back to him. “You think you can defeat us?” There was a mixture of incredulity and arrogance in his voice, the same tone Tony had heard plenty of times before. Right before whoever said it learned an important lesson in not underestimating Tony fucking Stark.</p><p>“Buddy, we defeated Thanos and the Black Order. No offence, but you’re nothing.”</p><p>That made the captain startle. “Who are you?”</p><p>“I’m Tony Stark, and these are the Avengers.” He pointed to the group around him: Rhodey, Bruce, Loki, Hope, Strange, T’Challa, Peter, Nebula and Vision.</p><p>Buzzy’s mouth opened and closed a couple of times, the others chattering frantically behind him.</p><p>“We apologize, Lord Stark,” he said, and bowed. Actually bowed.</p><p>Wow. Tony was not expecting that.</p><p>“We’re leaving.”</p><p>“Uhm, okay,” Tony said, a bit nonplussed. Well, that had been really easy. “So, you’ve heard of us?” he asked, because now he was curious.</p><p>“Oh, yes, of course.” Buzzy was all solicitude now. “Stark, the wielder of Stones.” He bowed again.</p><p>“Right.”</p><p>He hadn’t really done that much. The Stones were mostly acting by themselves, but Tony wasn’t stupid enough to say that. If people out there thought he was some super powerful guy… well, all the better. It would keep Earth safe.</p><p>“It’s an honor to meet you. And the Avengers,” Buzzy was still talking, almost tripping over his own words now. “We’ll just be going now. Please forget my hasty words earlier.”</p><p>“Yeah, sure. Off you go, then.”</p><p>The screen went black, and Jarvis announced the ship was reversing course.</p><p>“Well, who wants dinner?” Tony asked and the room erupted into laughter.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Tony’s nicknames for the Stones:<br/>Soul – Souly<br/>Power – Vi (from Violet, since it’s kind of its color)<br/>Reality – Red<br/>Space – Tess (because it used to be the Tesseract)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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